Author: Jett Sage (pseud.)

About: Vigorous, dialogue-enhanced tale of Odin Wild, a Nordic adventurer who rides in his Ferrari with a host of babes in the passenger seat. After getting caught over the line one too many times, young Mr. Wild finds himself in jail, where he outdoes anything that Cool Hand Luke tried to pull off.

Excerpt:

Ivory Baby slammed the trunk down and said “Chesse!”, then turning around to meet the approaching policeman with a smile.

“Good morning, Offisah,” Al said in an affected voice.

The sheriff ignored him. He was a big man, six feet four, with a head like a Concord grape.

“What're you guys doing in town?” he thundered. “I thought I told you to stay out on that farm!”

“Why, Sheriff!” Ivory Baby coquetted, fluttering his eyelashes. “How're you gonna keep us... down on the fawm... now that we've seen... yo' can?”

“Oh, my little asshole,” said Chilli God, Jr. “It's round like a cherry!”

The sheriff looked at Odin.

“I suppose yo're the big warlord they've all been waiting for?” he said.

“Um...”

“Odin don't speak to strangers,” Al explained. “His mother told him not to.”

“Well suppose you tell him to get on out to that farm and stay there!” the sheriff rumbled. “I just talked to Mr.

“Odin's got other things to do,” snapped Ivory Baby.

“Oh he does, does he? Well, he'd better get the hell out of here before I run him in for assault and battery!”

“What he do, Offisah?... Batter somebody?”

“He's busted Joe's hemorrhoids!” the sheriff stormed. “Joe is up at the hospital now. He's been bleeding for half an hour.”

“Oh, my aching asshole!” said Chilli God, Jr.

Ivory Baby giggled. “What's that joke about piles and the Englishman?”

“What you mean busted hemorrhoids?” Al said indignantly. “This is a clean-cut American boy. He only goes around bustin' cherries.”

The sheriff looked at Ivory Baby.

“What's that you got in your trunk?” he asked.

“Why, Sheriff...”

“What you got in there?”

“A jar of Vaseline and a rubber dick,” said Al.

The sheriff: “Open it!”

Ivory Baby shrugged and opened his fly.

“Sa-ay, now,” said Chilli God, Jr.

The sheriff shoved them out of the way.

“You damn punks!” he said.

Then he opened the trunk and stared at the panties and the G-string.

“What's that?” he demanded.

“That's a pair of panties and a G-string, Sheriff.”

“I know that! What're you doing with them?”

“Tee-hee,” said Ivory Baby.